The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility. During the negotiations,
the German Government argued that English spelling had some room for
improvement and some changes to the language were agreed to as part of
a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be
dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be
replaced with “f”.. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.